


Goddamn Fantasy books.

by mir_sawyer



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Brucenat - Freeform, Brutasha - Freeform, F/M, First Meetings, Harry Potter - Freeform, Harry Potter References, It's Soft, Meet-Cute, Pre-Avengers (2012), Red Room (Marvel), Science Bros, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, hulkwidow - Freeform, pop culture references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 14:19:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30124095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mir_sawyer/pseuds/mir_sawyer
Summary: Your typical soulmate fic where you have your soulmate's first words tattooed on your skin.In this case, Nat is done with all men named Tony and strange latin sounding words, Clint is a best friend, Bruce is NOT a werewolf, thank you very much, and Fury has bad ideas.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark, Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	Goddamn Fantasy books.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!!
> 
> So, I've been toying on writing Brucenat for awhile now and today it finally happened!  
> I hope you enjoy this funny weird little thing! 
> 
> Disclaimer: JKR sucks. Harry Potter wrote itself and Marvel characters sadly belong to Marvel. 
> 
> PD: Find me on tumblr! @one-bigmess :)

- _Please, don’t listen to what tony says, I don’t actually turn into werewolves, can’t perform a patronus either_. -

She traced absentmindedly the words on the inside of her wrist while listening to Pepper talk. These words were one of the reasons why she decided to stick with them..with Tony.

Natasha had only known what her words actually meant when the Red Room decided it’d be a good idea for her to learn english..to expand her horizons.

Aka, to be sent on missions outside of Russia.

She remembered being a kid and a confused frown on her face when her eyes used to fall on these unknown symbols etched on her skin. She liked to think that these words would be the ones that would save her. That would come get her out of that place.

But they didn’t. No one ever came to her rescue and so, she had to do it herself. Which was how she found Clint, and then she met Fury, which ultimately led her to Tony.

It wasn’t the first Tony she had met, but to her, it was the one that made more sense. The other Tony’s had been mostly men who she had had to kill, so talking to them wasn’t exactly required, or just people on the street shouting out that name over and over again, like a mother calling for it’s child or a friend calling out another friend.

_Werewolves_ and _patronus_.

These two words were the ones that made her scowl out of the whole sentence.

What in the sweet hell was a _patronus_? And _Werewolves_?

What even…

“Whatever.” She murmured, not realising her mistake until Pepper stopped her speech and looked straight at her.

“Excuse me?” She asked, the smile never faltering from her face.

“Nothing! Nothing at all..sorry.” She replied, kicking herself mentally. Not the time, nor the place.

Pepper sighed and rested one of her hands on her lap, while the other one went to the table, tapping her nails softly against the hard wood. “Are you okay, Natalie?”

“Yes, yes of course, Miss Potts. Nothing to worry about. Just a lot on my mind.”

Natalie Rushmann was supposed to be a polite young woman educated in administration and accounting. All smiles and soft appearance.

So very different from Natasha Romanoff. Some days she didn’t even know who she was, which usually led to distressed calls to Clint.

Pepper made an acknowledging noise and turned to her side to retrieve some papers from the bag on the floor, giving them to Natasha and proceeding to explain all she needed to know about the upcoming Stark Expo that would take place the next weekend in California.

Only a few months later, Natasha had to bury Natalie Rushmann and threaten Clint that what happened to never ever climb back to the surface, ever again. Or he’d never ever see his precious waffle maker ever again.

He just laughed. “Now you know how I feel about Budapest, my friend.” Natasha rolled her eyes and pinched him on the side.

“It wasn’t that bad. You just don’t know how to follow the rules.”

“There are no rules on spy whammy.”

“That’s the first rule.” Natasha grinned, barely escaping Clint’s arms as he turned to tickle her.

“You’re mean!” he shouted, not even bothering to run after her, instead, letting himself fall against the sofa with a groan, head tilted up and arms thrown to his sides.

Days passed and Natasha barely had any time to think about her words, being too occupied with SHIELD and having to remind Clint to water his plants and feed his dog.

They were fake, the plants. The plants were fake. A gift to him from her. The dog was Lucky. 

And Clint still rushed to water the damned plants whenever she mentioned them.

It was hilarious to her.

Then, Clint brought the third book of Harry Potter home.

Years ago, when Clint first brought Natasha home, he made a list of all the things she had to know about. It wasn’t that she had been frozen in time. The Red Room made sure that she knew enough, but then she deflected and keeping up with culture wasn’t exactly a priority on her list.

So, Clint insisted, adamantly saying how important it was that she knew about My Little Pony, Batman and Superman, Mac and Cheese, Dog Cops, and the list went on.

Natasha was sure that if she rolled her eyes one more time because of him, they’d get stuck that way. Clint replied saying that it wasn’t his fault she had a special boring taste in films, because “Natasha, no one watches black and white films anymore, that’s why they are now in color! Because people got bored! Because black and white is boring!”

Who cares.

Casablanca, His Girl Friday, It Happened One Night, The Apartment, now that was cinema.

“Who are you thinking about?” The question made her blink, her smile slipping away.

“What do you mean?” She frowned.

Clint shrugged and pointed to her face, making her roll her eyes. “You were smiling.”

“Ass.”

Clint snickered and lowered the beer on his hand to the floor. And she just knew, she knew the floor would be staining of beer for the following two weeks because he’d forget about the beer, and knock it down when standing up.

For being an impressive marksman, Clint was clumsy. As in, if you looked clumsy in a dictionary, his face would be in the example of the definition.

“So!” He exclaimed, followed by a noise of glass knocking against the floor. “Aw..beer, no.”

Natasha chuckled.

“Anyways, dog will lick that.” He clapped his hands once and strutted to where she was standing, looking out the window, she turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “So! The book, you read it yet?” He asked.

Natasha shook her head. “Nope. Read the first one, though, and it's the same story as always. Orphan boy, magical powers, war is brewing, big fight happens, good guys win. End of story.” She recited as if reading lines, her hands accompanying each of the words.

“Damn, you’re good.” He frowned, almost pouting. “You should read it anyway. There’s a little something in there you might find interesting.” He added, jutting out his chin as if wanting to make a point.

She glared at him, unconvinced. “Elaborate?”

“Your words.” The moment his words came out of his mouth, her left hand quickly covered the wrist of the right hand, taking a step away from his best friend. “Come on, Nat.” he protested.

“Have you ever thought that maybe I don’t even want to know who my soulmate is?” She asked, hands on her hips, her glare still going strong, which sadly, didn’t have any effect on him anymore.

It was a sad day for her when she noticed that fact.

“Okay, I’ll give you that, but you should still read it..Or we can watch the movie! It came out a few years ago! You know you like Maggie Smith..she’s one badass teacher..” He sung, his eyebrows going up and down.

She knew it was a lost battle, that if she said no he’d just go on and on and keep pestering her and she really didn’t want to murder a friend, these were hard to find. So she sighed dramatically and let her head fall, closing her eyes and massaging the pad of her fingers against her forehead. “You win, you, clown.”

“For the hundredth time, Nat, I wasn’t a clown, I was the marksman! Jeeze, girl” He protested, his pout failing due to the giant grin on his face.

The movie had been going on for minutes and it was when she overheard a few of the words said by the characters that she felt her jaw drop, immediately followed by Clint’s laugh.

“So now what, still don’t wanna watch the dumb movie?” he grinned, which turned to a full belly laugh when she threw her popcorn at him, one at a time. ____

Her words came from a _goddamned_ _fantasy book_ turned movie.

The first thing she knew she would do when she met her soulmate was to kick him in the balls for that.

A goddamned fantasy movie about wizards.

She groaned, hiding her face against the pillow.

“So, you know..you probably wanna start checking out conventions and comic stores. Your soulmate is a n-e-r-d.” He giggled, giggled, while punctuating every letter of the last word.

“I will kill you.” she murmured, her words coming out muffled against the soft threads of the cushion.

“Sure, sure. I just can’t believe it. It’s too good. You; a russian spy whammy, with a nerd. It’s amazing. I love it. I support it.” He went on.

Meanwhile, taking full advantage of her feet on his lap, she raised one and let it fall forcefully against his groin. Smiling when he immediately flapped and fell off the couch.

“Aw-Nat! That hurts!” He moaned, laying miserably on the floor. She turned her head to the side, still laying down, and grinned innocently at him.

“I just moved my feet. No idea what you’re talking about.” She shrugged.

Fury calls them. Talking about a sort of Initiative he’s putting together to fight against the bad, which has Clint annoyingly grinning like the child he is; “Like the Order of Phoenix, Nat.” He says, which makes her sigh and punch him in the gut when no one is looking. They do look when he chokes out loud, though. She grins innocently.

This is how Natasha suddenly finds herself with Clint, Maria Hill and Fury heading to Tony Stark’s personal lab in Stark Tower. Right in the middle of New York City. 

A national disaster wanting to happen, in her opinion. 

She hasn’t actually been there yet. When she was Tony’s, and then Pepper’s, PA they mostly stayed in California, and Italy.

Natasha internally groans when Tony’s loud voice can be heard from the corridor. She’s already dreading this Initiative thing.

Fury might have good ideas sometimes, but he also has very very bad ideas, too. This being one of these.

“You look like you’re being dragged back to the Red Room.” Clint whispers, knocking his elbow against her arm.

“Oh, this is much worse than the Red Room.” she mutters under her breath.

“Come on! Like the Order of Phoenix! It’s fun!” She rolls her eyes at his excitement over this.

“And here I thought you only liked working alone.” Hill snorts, Natasha is tempted to high five her, declining at the end since she doesn’t want that to influence a stereotype on her so early on.

Plus, as of the last time, Tony was still scared of her and she’d prefer to keep things that way. High-fiving people isn’t scary unless you’re doing it with a knife on your hand. The pointy end towards the other person.

Natasha fights off a smirk and they finally walk to the door.

At first, Tony seems to be talking alone amongst all the beeps of his machines, but then something moves to her left and when she pivots to the figure, it turns out to be a he.

Doctor Bruce Banner. Aka the Hulk, but only when he’s angrier, apparently. She has heard about him before. Actually tailed him during the whole Culver Accident a few years back.

She’s not surprised Fury wants him on his initiative.

Not surprised at all.

“I tell you, Brucie. Mixing the components by the rule isn’t as fun as they make it sound. I think we should at least-“

“What? Try it? Tony, you know what happened the last time I tried that…Didn’t exactly go so well for me.”

“Only because you were lied to! The non-science guys changed the most important part of the equation and didn’t tell you about it! Your equations were perfect, big you. Your company? Not so much. This time it’s different.” Tony replied, his voice growing louder and following the Doctor around the lab, emphasising his points waving his arms around.

“Why? Because it’s you?” Bruce remarks, arching an eyebrow, glasses perched dangerously on the bridge of his nose, he pushes them up, glaring at his friend. 

“Exactly, my friend. Exactly. See? You learn fast.” Stark grinned, patting his new friend on his shoulders.

“Sure, Tony.” Bruce chuckled, not precisely in a funny way. Natasha frowned.

“Stark. Banner.” Fury made his presence known to the two oblivious men in the lab.

“Dumbledore!” Tony exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

A sudden laugh had Bruce being the center of attention once again, he stood closer to Tony, one hand covering his mouth but the small crinkles around his eyes showing that he was still holding his laugh inside.

“He looks more like a Kinglsey to me, Tony.” He grinned.

“What does that make you, then? Sirius?” Clint intervened, a smirk on his face. “Rich and a playboy. Fits every inch.” He added, accepting a handshake from Banner.

“I’ll accept that, only if Brucie here can be Remus. Hairy werewolf by night. Hairy patronus performer by day.” Tony replied, walking closer and making them involuntarily stand in a circle.

“ _Please, don’t listen to what tony says, I don’t actually turn into werewolves, can’t perform a patronus either._ ” Bruce grinned at her.

She blanched.

Then bolted.

It's Clint who found her two days later, curled up in the small space between her bed and the wall, in one of her safe apartments. (No one could afford safe _houses_ anymore anyways).

Clint, then, kneeled in front of her, his hands on either of her knees and smiled at her. Immediately making her tear up because it was his soft smile.

“I wasn’t supposed to meet him.” She whispered, not trusting her voice at a normal volume.

“You were. And you did. And it’s a good thing, Nat. He’s good. Confused right now, but he knows.” He said, still in his soft voice.

“I shadowed him a few years ago. At Culver. Fury asked me and I went. He doesn't even know..” Her eyes lowered, fingers playing with the hem of her hoodie. Stolen from Stark when she worked at Stark Industries. 

“Talk to him, at least? You haven’t even said anything to him, have you?” Clint asked.

“No. Not yet. It’s the first time I’ve even seen him face to face..properly, I mean.” She explains. Then groans, letting her head fall against the wall behind her and closes her eyes. Clint chuckles and she pouts, flapping a hand around with the hopes of hitting him somehow.

She doesn’t, he grabs at her arm instead and pulls her up and in one of his bear hugs.

“Tell me you won’t meddle.” She pleads, words muffled against his chest, which rumbles at his laugh.

“Maybe.” He replies, making her groan again, and this time her hand gets him on the forehead.

“Stop hitting me, woman.” He complains, letting go only to grab at her arms. She grins and forcefully detaches his hands from her, evading him and going to the kitchen.

“Come on! Let’s go to Stark’s. You didn’t stay long enough to see the gym. It’ll make you drool.”

Natasha’s smile freezes. Bruce is at Stark’s. Bruce who is her soulmate. Bruce who is her soulmate and also her new partner thanks to Fury.

God Dammit all to hell.

She swears under her breath and takes a deep breath. Just in time for JARVIS to open the doors of the Lab Tony built for Bruce.

“Before you ask me, no, I will not join you on your trip to Columbus. I know I’m from Ohio, that doesn’t mean I want to go back to that place.” Bruce sighs, as if having recited that sentence more than four times in an hour.

“ _What if I’m not Tony?_ ” She asks, choosing her words carefully, which has Bruce stopping what he’s doing, his eyes closed and a chuckle escapes him.

“Godamn Tony.”

Natasha laughs, and just like that, a heavy weight disappears from her stomach.

“Exactly.” She grins, leaning against one of the work tables.

Bruce turns to face her, a matching grin on his face.

“And the dumb fantasy books?” He asks, his grin growing, if possible.

“What can I say? I’ve always liked Remus.” She says, walking closer to him.

He blushes, which Natasha finds delightful that she can make that happen so easily, and notes it down mentally to definitely try and make that happen again.

“So. Honeydukes might not be a real place but how does a non-butter beer at the place down the block?” He asks, crossing his arms on his chest, bashfully.

As if she were to say no to him.

_fin_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!  
> Enjoy your weekend AND Happy TFATWS Day! :D
> 
> And find me on tumblr! @one-bigmess   
> Feel free to say hi :) 
> 
> Mir.


End file.
